Just back from Colorado and a big shout-out to the politicians who decided to put the Denver airport in the middle of nowhere off a tollway which features nothing remotely resembling a gas station. So should you have a rental car and return it without the full tank required you’re only charged $8.99 a gallon. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but couldn’t I purchase weapons grade plutonium for less?

I used to live (if you can call what I do living) in Colorado years ago but moved when I realized I hated it. Now when I go back all I say to the locals is, “Hey pal, where the hell can I get a decent goddamn Denver omelette in this town, anyway?” And here’s the thing – nobody knows. True story.

Tonight I’m flying to New York City. I haven’t been there for many years and allow me to share a little anecdote with you. I began my brilliant college career at Arizona State University in 1965 and a great many people would ask me if I was from New York. I just couldn’t understand why – I’d never been to New York and I was from Cleveland so certainly didn’t have a New York accent. I was utterly baffled and then about four years later I went to New York for the first time and suddenly everything became crystal clear. The first 18 guys I saw I thought were me! Apparently there is a very large Jewish population in New York City and it turns out I look Jewish!

I always thought I had the map of Ireland written all over my face, but I had been mistaking Tiperrary for Tel Aviv. Irish Catholic…Jewish…frankly, it wasn’t much of a change. I just stopped eating corned beef and cabbage and started eating corned beef on rye. I also no longer root for Notre Dame and am now a rabid Brandeis University fan. I may be wrong on this but I think the Brandeis mascot is a nice piece of whitefish.

I’d love to regale you with more zany stories from my troubled past but I’ve got a plane to catch and you have an Indian blanket to view. From the Danny McFalls collection comes a c.1915-1925 Oregon City Woolen Mills blanket I call the Chili Pepper pattern. And if you know anybody that serves a decent Denver omelette with chili peppers, don’t be shy about telling me. Just for the record, I wouldn’t say no to hashed browns and a warm-up on the coffee, either.