Hello, little friends. The following has nothing to do with the rest of today’s entry, but does anybody know what happened to Waffle Boys, those bright-eyed young men who for decades hawked delicious golden-brown waffles to early morning motorists on the key streets of all our major cities?

Ahhh…memories.

Well, it was my heartfelt intention to recount the story of my just-concluded trip to Santa Fe and it truly would have been the most hilarious thing you’ve ever read. You would have doubled over with laughter, gasped for breath, slapped your sides until you raised welts and been swept away by a tsunami of hot steaming tears of joy. It was that funny.

But then I wouldn’t be able to fully explore the latest Oprah news and there is nothing more important than Oprah news.

Ms. Winfrey recently went unrecognized in a Zurich, Switzerland shop and when she asked to see a $38,000 handbag the salesgirl said, “No, no, no, it’s too expensive.”

Racial profiling? Duh. First of all, it was a black bag. Black woman….black bag….coincidence? I think not.

The number 38,000? Oh, I suppose there’s no link there with Ezekiel 38,000 in the Old Testament where the Lord sayeth,”And verily an underpaid ignorant Swiss shopgirl shall not show an absurdly priced handbag to a female black media mogul or she shall be smitten by kittens with mittens.” Granted, there is a possibility I may be confusing the Old Testament with a Dr. Seuss book, but that could happen to anyone.

Clearly Oprah could purchase the entire country of Switzerland and with her change buy Austria and Liechtenstein. The point is she wasn’t shopping for countries that day, just a handbag. When that snotty little shopgirl refused to show her the expensive bag, Oprah knew the real reason why immediately – you see, Oprah is black.

I am totally down with girlfriend all the way on this one. The Swiss can’t afford to remain neutral in the matter…they must act NOW and hey, why not consider changing the name of their homeland to something indicating their new proactive direction? Swifterland? Yessss! Or, if you don’t like that name…Nooooo!

Meanwhile, Oprah should be allowed to view and handle every ridiculously overvalued item in their overpriced little country except for one thing. She should absolutely not be allowed anywhere near Swiss candy…in particular, chocolates. Call it racism if you like, but let’s face it, these days home girl is packing a little too much freight in her caboose. Or, as the English might say, baby got tonnage in her bummage.

So, Swiss people, quit playing with your silly knives and listen up. I call on you to show Oprah the Prada, not the pralines. The Chanel, not the chocolate turtles. The Gucci, not the Gummi Bears.

What happened to Oprah can happen to any of us. Injustice can not stand. Let’s all work together to create a world where people of any color or creed are allowed…in fact, ENCOURAGED…to look at $38,000 handbags!

With all that firmly in mind, let’s now proceed with August’s Blanket Of The Month. From the Chris Ehrlich Collection comes this rather dazzling mid-1920s Pendleton. What’s it worth? Let’s just say I’d try to steer Oprah into something a little more in her price range.