I know there has been a lot of debate about my finances and intense speculation regarding my continued ability to pay my bills. Not to worry. Being a man of greater common sense than the chowderheads loitering in our Congress and Senate, I have steadfastly refused to raise my debt ceiling. Instead, and this is genius, I have simply lowered my debt floor.  

This whole debt ceiling fiasco has spawned a fierce distaste for the infantile posturing of both parties, but more importantly has completely overshadowed news about the most important person in the world – Kim Kardashian.  America’s politicians could not have picked a worse time to squabble – HELLO, Kim is engaged and there are a million and one details to be sorted out publicly before her big day! Less news about Kim also means less news about her enchanting sisters, Khloe and Kourtney. There may be a couple more…Kielbasa and Khlamydia?  

There’s a domino effect, of course. If this was the 1950s, there could very well be a Fats Domino effect, but never mind that. Diminished Kardashian revelations also means less press time for the other people I care so deeply about. Because of the government’s insatiable need to hog the headlines, I’m not getting all the details I need to emotionally cope with the J. Lo-Mark Anthony split or to properly follow the Jen Anniston story as she goes househunting with her new boyfriend – I think she might be serious about this one!!!

I’m hoping these government prima donnas will make themselves scarce now and step aside for the people who really matter. Americans want to have a sense of country again, so a little less John Boehner and Harry Reid and a little more Nancy Grace referring to Casey Anthony as “Tot Mom” at least 48 times in every sentence, please. Thank you all for respecting my privacy during this difficult time.

It’s been over a year since I’ve featured any Beacon blankets and I aim to remedy that right now with a couple snazzy examples from the Jon Stuart Collection.

(Private message to Kim K – I really, really love your Mom’s idea, but I don’t think the post office will assign your ass its own zip code.)