It was 118 here in Phoenix today and my brain must be completely baked because for a second or two I thought Michelle Bachmann is the leading Republican candidate for President and the Cleveland Indians are in first place.  WHAT??? THEY REALLY ARE???? 

Congresswoman Bachmann butchers American history every time she speaks, but outdid herself when she kicked off her campaign in Waterloo, Iowa and proclaimed it the hometown of John Wayne. Turned out it was the home of John Wayne Gacey, The Killer Clown. Oops! I think we can look forward to her claiming that Lincoln freed the Slavs and that Washington said,”I can not sell a pie.” Bachmann initially believed God had sent her a message to run for the presidency, but now says perhaps she was mistaken and it was actually either Dog The Bounty Hunter or former “Taxi” star Marilu Henner.

As for the first place Indians, they last won a pennant in 1954 and mathematicians at MIT just finished analyzing their current roster and upcoming schedule. They can now say with complete certainty that the Tribe will not win the American League’s Central Division crown this year, but will possibly contend in the year 73817 if they can bring in two quality pitchers from other galaxies. 

In other news, photography for my new book, “Still Chasing Rainbows”, is done! There are a few tiny things left to do – every picture has to be Photoshopped, the entire book must be graphically designed and oh, yeah, I have to actually write it, BUT the photos are the most important component and they are murderous.

Speaking of murder, here’s a blanket you’ll find in the new book. From the Terry Clark Collection comes an absolutely rambunctious Racine Woolen Mills blanket that’s better than a hundred years old. (Private note to candidate Bachmann – I’m referring to 1911 and no, Michelle, I’m sorry, you’re wrong, that was not the year America entered World War II after the Japanese attacked Pearl Bailey.)