To those loyal readers of this monthly feature, I plead guilty to the unpardonable tardiness of this entry. Not that I expect forgiveness, but I come armed with excuses.

My air conditioning unit died a horrible death in mid-September when the average Phoenix AZ temperature was about a skillion and five. Cost of the new unit: $4300. Three days later, my toaster drew its last breath. Replacement cost: $42. Two days after that my Mr. Coffee, which had been brewing brilliantly every day for nine years, apparently committed suicide after years of mourning Joe DiMaggio’s death. The Yankee Clipper had been Mr. Coffee’s spokesman for decades and when he died I presume he became the spokesman for Mr. Coffin. My Mr. Coffee lived on, but after Joe’s passing it became depressed, moody and just didn’t seem…and I’m really sorry about this…perky. Coffeemaker from Amazon: $61. At this point I felt nothing else could go wrong.

Incorrecto, Barry. Computer crash and burn: replacement cost $900. I decided I need an external hard drive to back up the new computer and that set me back another hundred bucks. The new computer arrives, the old printer stops functioning. $200 buys me a new printer. I then replace a faucet for $112 and believe I have finally quelled the rebellion. I draw a deep breath, go outside to tend my garden and water cascades over me from scores of tiny holes in my hose. New hose: $24. Five days later my dishwasher ceases functioning forever. $725 buys a new one that buries every single piece of my china and silverware in a deluge of hard water stains and multiple layers of detergent residue. I angrily call Sears and suggest they rename my appliance The Kenmore Pompeii. They, like you, are not amused.

Last night my electric toothbrush decided to change things up and go acoustic. What’s $87 to me at this point?  At this rate I’ll be living in a dumpster within a month.

That brings me to today. I’m driving down the freeway and every time I brake the car shimmies violently. Likely cause: warped rotors. Do I even care what this will cost to repair? It matters not at this point. I have my blankets. There are no moving parts to break down. With even minimal care they last forever. They’re warm and beautiful and give me enormous pleasure.

Case in point….October’s Blanket Of The Month. From the Danny McFalls Collection comes this 1920’s Oregon City Woolen Mills blanket. Great colors, great pattern. I wouldn’t change a thing about it. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

On the other hand, if it is broken it’s mine.