To be honest, I forgot all about Blanket Of The Month until this very second and the clock just struck May 4th. I’ve been totally distracted by the thought of my 65th birthday on June 15th. Seriously, aren’t I almost dead at this point? And doesn’t it also mean senior discounts? Aren’t I thrilled I’ll be saving on airline travel, movies and meals? Of course, I’ll be too decrepit to fly, too confused to enjoy a movie and for health reasons won’t be allowed to eat anything other than bee pollen. Today I bought Medicare Supplemental insurance just to make sure I’m totally covered for skilled nursing assistance and foreign emergency situations. God forbid I should break a tibia in Libya.
I’ve been cranky my whole life, so I might as well be old, too. I’m not good with the looking old part, though. Lately I’ve been noticing women dressing me with their eyes. I’m losing my hair at a rapid pace. I’m walking at a slower pace. I’m getting depressed – this morning I ordered my eggs sunnyside down. The waitress asked me how I liked my coffee. I winked and said, “Honey…just the way I like my women….cold.”
But there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. After a year and a half the pictures are finally done for “Still Chasing Rainbows”. A graphic designer has been hired and if the printing gods are smiling the new book may actually be in my twisted, aged hands in December. Plus rumor has it I’ve been invited to hold my first book signing at the Smithsonian Museum Of The American Indian. Needless to say, this is a huge honor that the Smithsonian will deeply regret.I urge you to visit the new page I’ve just set up on Facebook….Barry Friedman Indian Blankets. You’ll find some of the images that will be in the new book and some of the same jokes I’ve used here. Unlike other people’s jokes mine are actually way funnier the second time you read them. It’s crazy!
It’s that mystical moment when I unveil May’s very special blanket, but what’s up with this? It appears I haven’t picked a blanket at all, but rather a blanket picture from the new book. It’s called “A Cold Night” and was taken by William J. Carpenter in 1915. Doesn’t 1915 seem like over a million years ago? It was only 32 years before I was born. It’s so over.