September 2010
For those of you interested in my love life, my romantic advisers keep telling me the way to go is friends with benefits. Fine…who’s got dental?
It seems so obvious, but why have I never heard of anyone getting plastered in Paris?
August’s big story was a California man’s garage sale find of glass negatives proclaimed by his representatives to be the work of Ansel Adams and worth 200 million dollars. Ansel Adams’ estate maintains they are absolutely not the master’s work and rounding off to the nearest number are worth zero.
Staggered, but not knocked out by this blow, the wannabe tycoons say, “OK, maybe they’re not Ansel Adams’ work, but what about John Quincy Adams? Right, cameras didn’t exist when he was alive. Then how about Patch Adams? No, that was a Robin Williams movie role. Uh…Edie Adams? The singer/actress? Come on, she was married to the comedian Ernie Kovacs! Damn, you don’t remember them? Wow, we’ll get back to you.”
After exhaustive research, they now believe the negatives are worth over 300 million dollars and are unquestionably the work of Grizzly Adams.
How sure are they? “Hey,” a group spokesman said confidently, “does a bear take photographs in the woods?”
I think maybe he should have said “of the woods”, but that’s Monday morning quarterbacking and feels nitpicky and ill-timed since this is already Wednesday.
With all that in mind, what better moment to introduce September’s Blanket Of The Month? I give you a very rare Racine Woolen Mills blanket that dates a few years north or south of 1900. I’ve only seen a few in this pattern and this example is in superb condition. Of course, I have left the dirt smudges on my camera lens to give the illusion the blanket has ghostly circles floating languidly over its surface. No wonder critics everywhere have called my work “despicable and an unforgivable affront to all that is good”.
The blanket has an unnapped finish (I’m talking no fuzz), an extremely dense weave and feels very luxurious to the hand. I’m sure there are many things that feel luxurious in your hands, but seriously, wouldn’t it be better if you kept that information between you and your parole board?
