December 2018

In this time of chaotic deep divisiveness in our nation, one clear voice must rise above the din and that voice is mine.

I spent the entire month of December pondering the profound differences that separate us all. I delved even deeper than political affiliation. Instead, I mentally drilled to the core – the one indisputable truth that isolates my Jewish brethren from those hundreds of millions of the Christian faith.

And either God or Joy Behar spoke unto me and here is the answer:

The difference between Jews and Christians is Christians do their own oil changes.

Please reflect on that wisdom of the ages while we proceed to our Blanket of the Month.

Very rarely does a Buell Mfg. Company blanket turn up…especially in excellent condition. This Cherokee pattern is not as spectactular as the Moki pattern I showcased in July, but has very unusual colors, excellent detail in the bands, dates to 1910 and would be a stellar addition even to the most advanced collection.

Getting back to the religion deal for a second, is everybody really buying into the idea of a Jewish carpenter? Just throwing this out there – any chance Jesus was actually a podiatrist?


December 2018 — 4 Comments

  1. Blasphemy! Prepare to burn in a special hell created with the sole purpose of preparing a nice flambé to you and your pernicious ilk.

  2. Barry,

    I read with some interest your observations on the nature of separation, and immediately felt compled to share it with my friend and spiritual adviser the noted author, Oe Shehorn, currently a resident of Lands End, Patagonia, where he is researching a new novel based on the culture and rituals of the Black Tie Cult of mainland avians, “A Fishy Waddle.”

    We quickly reached agreement on the cultural significance of the oil change to Christian culture. I personally just lubed up with some 10/30, infused through a gooseneck funnel into a ‘75 Pacer I have up on blocks out front in the yard. We do have a question regarding the significance of our adult children returning home with the expectation of a parental financial contribution for their oil change at Jiffy Lube. Oe believes this may offer an insight into the true nature of Jesus and his true occupation.

    He explains that it has never been clearly demonstrated Jesus was a carpenter, or that his father was cuckolded by a God from the Levant. He suspects the Greeks, if a God at all, but I digress. He doubts podiatrist as well, notwithstanding the footwash business. We do suspect a mixed family of origin based on a comparison of the behavior of the young adult of today. Oe’s insight shows that what we believe what separates us may not be more than a failure of observation and of course the product of marrying a gentile. Oe has no opinion as to who the gentile in the family might be, but leans toward Joseph, as we all know about mothers and first born sons. It’s a miracle they all aren’t named Prince.

    As far as we can tell Jesus was self-employed with no tangible form of recompense. His only known work responsibilities were the practice of cheap parlor tricks to hold the attention of his followers while complaining about the behavior of the adults around him. Consequently, we believe, Jesus to be like our children who return for oil change money, and often to live on our couches while criticizing our way of life. My daughter recently held forth for a considerable time regarding the sin of my morning coffee accompanying me to work in a disposable paper cup.

    So, the similarities are undeniable and it can be hypothesized Jesus would never have changed his own oil, leaving and unanswerable conundrum. Had God only used one, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

    By the way, the blanket is great.